Absolutely nice to read just before hitting the bed. Enjoy this phase to the maximum and knowing that we have taken the right decision for the sake of our children brings a lot of warm feeling in ourself. In this busy schedule, I am sure you are already doing something but ensure that you allocate time for yourself and do something for YOU. Maybe revive a hobby.....have an outing....I am sure c moms is doing you a lot of good but it should not end there. Catching up with old friends is so good once in a way.

according to me,sangita, we r in one way or the other , achievers. we r totally independent.we never depend either on our parents or in-laws for anything.our kids shud be brought up only by us.leaving them in creche or with the elders and going to work can be done if we r financially poor,if not we shud as a mother be with our kid and take part in everything along with them so that they dont feel in anything that they r insecure.

work/job can be done at anytime, but this phase of our kid(s) is not going to come once again.

so  as a housewife i enjoy each and every moment with her and i proudly say that as a family we r totally independent. 

Superb  blog  Sangita !    i   grow   with my  lil  one .....amazing  one   liner !  Monetary  benefits  alone   cannot    bring   best  chilhood .  I   have  to  be   a  housewife  coz  i  din't  have  a  choice .  But   a  working  woman  to  quit  her  job  needs  lot  of  guts   and  its   really   great  to  accept   what   yr   family  get s    thereafter .For   yr  qualification  ,  i   think  you  have   a  great  temperament   to  take  this  decision.

And  Penitia ,  yes  ,  working  women alone  are   indeed  independent  .  Its   a  nice  thought , in  you , that  as  a  family  you   are  independent .  

excellent blog sangita

v as housewifes can share our inner feelings here, like u i did my mca and worked in s/w before my delivery, after my sons birth i left my job and doing a great job with my kid, 

afterall we earn money for our kids future, if we leave them in the day care wat is the use of earning money for them is my first thought so i left  my job and giving my full support to my son teaching him the world wr he have to struglle and survive.

Pros of Homemaker

• Kids feel secure


• Maintain the house properly


• Can socialise

Pros of Working Mom

• Independence


• Personally feels more Secure


• Kids become more independent...because they have to

The cons are viceversa

Which is tough?

• Being a working mom I feel homemakers have the tough job of working from morn to night without a break...I enjoy my breaks at office with no mental tension of when should i fold those clothes, what for dinner, hope my kid is back home  etc etc...though they have the benefit of having the afternoon nap which we are denied of


• The ideal situation will be having working hours that gel with the kids requirement so u don't loose out on being with the kids. BUT that is never the case. For some moms its a must that they have to work..now then life becomes tough for the working mom.


• It all boils down to the SUPPORT SYSTEM one has....working or homemaker if u have ppl to help out then life is easy.....BUT then I will suggest every mother to work and earn a monthly sum to experience financial freedom

Personally I admire moms who balance work and home with equal spirit without a support system...I will give them a Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggg HUG

PS. Sangita lovely blog ...and ur not JUST a housewife....ur a Homemaker..it isn't easy to manage a home....but once ur kiddo grows a bit older I suggest u start working

congs that u hav won a Gold Medal.. its a great   achievement..

its a wonderful blog and sometimes i too feel that going to job gives more satisfaction... but when i look at my child somehow am not able to accept the idea of leaving her in a creche.. again i feel bad to disturb my parents also coz they hav to take care of my brother....staying at home am feeling good, peaceful and most of all am there at home  when my child needs me..a womans presence at home makes the family more comfortable (my point of view)...i used to think how i enjoyed love and care in my mom's hands and i want to give the same to my kid. ....the satisfaction that a woman derives in bringing up the child and taking care of the home(for the people whom we love) is something different...i love spending time with asmita and also being at home am able to provide better cooperation and comfort to my husband....as penitia says as a family we feel independent and content

its more about attitude and necessity....there's so much to do being a homemaker... i have great admiration for working moms who are also spending quality time with their children without showing their official tension and pressure at home....

 Sangita,

As this topic has been discussed before (Once by anu4nivedh and then by anushisha), I am copy pasting my (own) comments from there...

(the link - http://www.chennaimoms.com/blogs/4836/posts/15367-working-women---plus-and-minus)

I have been in both these roles as my profession is flexible to work from home or office, but let me tell you .. you always compromise on one for the other. It is either office or home for us… IT is difficult to bring a proper balance to both, but we still manage..

 

And Anu… in my case working from home or office, the only option for me is "Sambar" no chutney.. no podi! 

 

When you are a full time mother or working from home:

 

POSITIVES:

 

1. You can take complete care of the little ones at home.

2. Whether u get compliments or not, you cook those good food to your family.. you have time to balance the nutrition and taste factors in food u prepare.

3. Your family's physical and mental health is in your hands and u are at home when the post man or courier comes.

4. When tired, u can put off your work and take a nap or listen to some music.

 

NEGATIVES:

1. You will often hear the words like "Nee chumma veetile thane irukke.. unakkenna theriyum office tension!.. sadam ponginiya.. paruppu thalichiya.. un velai mudinjuthu.. enakku appdille.. motha office-e en thalayil than irukku!!!"… and dumbo you believe it…

2. You are always depended on others.. even if you feel like buying something for yourself or wish to gift something to anybody.. you need to convince people to get permission and for the money to buy it!

3. You become a full time maid with no payment and no knowledge about veli ulakam and you always spin around VIM bar and RIN bar…

4. You never have time for yourself.. you live for others in your family. (If at all, you buy those less expensive homewear cotton dresses than other materials. You never bother to buy a sunscreen or cold cream for yourself or any accessories per se unless there is a wedding to attend. – intha point positive le podratha negative le podratha nnu theriyalai.. so bracketle pottutten!! )

 

WHEN YOU WORK IN AN OFFICE

1. You have no time to take care of your health, your kids or your spouse's.

2.  The wall clock decides where you should be and what you should be doing!

3. Food? Etho irukkra time-la enna seyya mudiyumo athu!...and u start preparing "moru" so that u don’t get ulcer.. as u never get time to take your food on time or sometimes food at all…!

4. When guests come after such a long time, you will be too embarrassed to tell them that you have an important meeting at office and you cannot avoid it…. Ethachum elders vera antha kumbalil irunthal.. kilinjuthu Krishnagiri!.. (Pavam intha payyan.. eppdi valatthan antha amma ivane…ivalukku kudumbathei vida velai mukkiyama pocha? And when u are not at home.. they sow these seeds to your kids' mind too that mothers are supposed to remain at home and take care of the family, cook different snacks and food and working is father's job!) 

5. Your homechores would be waiting for u the moment u step back from work and the newschannels would be waiting for your spouse….Kids celebrate this "busy parent syndrome" and may begin getting low marks and "high" remarks. You fix a tuition for them!

 

6. If the numbers in yoru payment cheque is higher than your spouse… finished. Ellatheyum samalichudalam.. this ego complex samalikkrathu periyyyya vishayam…. Whatever you say is out of the "thimiru" as you are earning more!.. Not many females can tolerate it or survive this monster called "EGO" .. the reason why most (I repeat… not all!!) successful career women are not successful at their domestic life.

 

POSITIVES:

1. You earn and hence you are independent.

2. You help your spouse in managing the family and that gives you a sense of satisfaction. 

3. Your family's financial status is improved. You do not have to depend on anyone to buy something for you or to gift a loved one with a gift of "your" choice.

4. You are confident and you DO get respect from people within your family and around.

5. Your kids are growing self sufficient and smart enough to face the current world. 

 

There are many other points too.. will update as and when I remember them

 

 

DISCLAIMER: All the above are not from my own experiences, but from what I have been seeing, hearing from other women around me. 

me too resigned my job 9 mnths back. to take care of my daughter (till that tme i had help and support..... )

we all are gr8 sacrificed our career for our children and  family

(let me share you all one msg whch was sent by my friends son(who is in 3yr college...his mother is working...(my friend is working )

Somebody once asked GOD what surprises you most....about Mankind..

GOD replied...

They lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health..

By thinking anxiously about the future they forget the present...

Such that they live neither for the Present  nor the Future..

Hey...Sangita, nice blog...every other day, this is what I discuss with my husband these days....

Kudos to ur credentials!! Brings back memories of my school n college..I was a school topper in 12 th,State 3 rd in Economics,College topper...I used to actively partcipate in a lot of oratorical contests...Now all those certificates n prizes r jus lying...and doesnt help even a little bit either in my career or my life....Sometimes I used to wonder why did I study so hard...shd have taken things easily.....Infact I constantly say that I do not want my daughter to break her heads n study..I jus want her to eveolve as a good human being....

I left my job, the moment I became pregnant..but it was a cautious decision...coz, I thoroughly wanted to enjoy my pregnancy...I totally agree with the fact, that affter baby, the world revolves around her ...

Though we have frequent brainstorming sessions whether I shd take up a fulltime job or not...ultimately we end up deciding that I wud rather make a good homemaker...yes I do keep myself busy with a little bitta freelancing...but that doesnt support me financially..it jus gives me sometime for myself...and doesnt allow my brain to rest and rust....

But I completely enjoy my motherhood...the time I ve spent with my little daughter..been with her for all her firsts...first roll over..first crawl...first word...first step....what not...

Dropping her, pickg her up frm school, story times, play times...when u actually become a child...as somebdy said, mothers are born at labour room...and yes u grow along with ur little one...

Being a homemaker is a bliss accordg to me...Not everybdy gets an opportunity to be !!!

If there is someone whom i envy, it is all the homemakers giving their first hand attention to their kids...I ve always wanted to become a home maker. I was fine with working before my kids, but now i yearn more to be a homemaker rather than a career woman.

My view points for becoming a home maker:

1. I dont want anybody else's influence on my kids. I want my kids to be the way they want to be...not how others want them to be...

2. I want to receive my hubby with a smiling face when he returns from office...

3. I want to hear "amma....inikku school-a srinidhi ennoda clip-a pudinkittaaa....' from my daughter's mouth and not from my MIL's mouth....

4. I want to give them all the nutritious food in teh way they like...(i cannot tell my MIL to do this....)

5. It should be ME who helps her with her homework and not her paati...

Call me arrogant, possessive...narrow-minded, or what not....but this is how I am and this is how i want to be....

My argument with my hubby is what is the point in just providing financial support when there are so many things we are compromising with the kids...??

PS: These are completely my view points and NOT intended to hurt any career-oriented women...

Good points Gayathri....agree with u...

Hi,

I may be differing from lot of people here ,forgive me for that, am taking a middle path here .First of all Sangita lovely thought provoking blog,  congratulations on that . Being a wife, a  mother is indeed a lovely feeling and being a good home maker is an achievement in itself .Kudos to ladies who accomplish it with elan . But fact also remains that being a  working woman gives one a different kind of high, a self confidence ,a belief and a sense of accomplishment which being home doesnt . Independence and personal financial stability are important in todays world that is having your own small hidey hole of savings to dig into when required, that extra bit to fall back upon and  notbeing dependent on the husband for everything does add to ones own sense of worth . Working completely changed me from a relatively timid person to a confident one.  Also your life doesn't center around family alone, you are also someone YOU apart from being someones wife and someones mother , you have an identity of your own and a life of your own also.But then there are home responsibilies of kids and family once one is married and with a family ,that is important too for a complete happy life , so ideally one needs to pick a profession which is suitable and fulfils ones ambition needs as well as familial needs and then balance time and prioritise as required with support from the family . It is tough ,yes, but then it is a challenge and we ladies multi task better than men, that is a proven thing, fortunately :) .Unwillingly sacrificing one for the other will lead to a lifetime of regret which will some time of the other rear its ugly head and leave a gaping hole in our lives which will be too late to fill. This is purely personal opinion.

Vaidehi ..Even if I think to get away wid my friends they ll not lemme go .. we talk after a month or 2 and still feel refreshed … n ya in these 2 years ve learnt swimming wid great difficulty

Penitia .. gud to hear th word tht we are independent !!! thts a gud boost

Amutha .. u say u dint ve a choice but ve u not felt thts a gud choice

Lalitha .. thts great .. its gud to know tht u also had to tak a bold decision

buzzgks and nisha as usual  u ppl re gud to talk on either side of any given topic .. thts a real talent

well put abiarunn

Jayee .. u re so multifaceted .. n still u quit job for ur daughter .. I know for a social being like u … how difficult it ll be

Shobana.. I wud say Kudos to ur credentials!!! Great going !

KG3 .. re u planning to quit?:) after managing both th fields it ll be difficult for u to stay

At home

smita...

wen life goes out of control and u need to tak bold decision .. gotto sacrifice something

and wen u sacrifice ..most of the time we may tend to repent.. in ma case also i feel

th same thing .. so instead of worryin for wht has happend i try to see its advantages!

even sometimes pretend to be happy ..and real Happiness most of th time !

Hey just happened to read this, really a good blog.

Just a flash back..

Once I got married , i left my job, cos am not that good at cooking and timing's didnt suite me and moreover my hubby preferred me to be a house wife.Then pregnancy-twins so was very cautious ...after delivery enjoyed all my life till they were 3+.Even though I was happy with my kids , attimes i really felt pressurised cos not able to chat with any one, feel alone, dependant, at times irritated, felt i need a change and boldly took a descion, sat with my hubby told him wat am facing these days(girls bringing up twins is a gr8 task , very difficult  too, so was fed up with life)I used to ask GOD y did u give me twins , but to say I am really a blessed lady.NOW IAM VERY MUCH THANKFUL TO GOD.

So , stepped into a new world of working Mom, really fel the confidence of air within me, I can rest myself, have people to share with, feel blessed, though i knew how difficult to run the life of Home maker.

But at imes feel very bad of myself, My kids they r longing for me, they always w8 till 6 o clock to seemy face, assoon as i step in they come running, i can feel that warmness within them, I really miss them a lotttttt.....