Certainly not..and do u mean..ur parents and inlaws are insecure?

Ofcourse I do have time where in I spend that with my lil one....other time she will be in school...and she does understand and that we are working for her well being....

No Yoga..u dont have to worry..it all depends on siuation and persons attitude towards life..

Do u think that working women havent brought up their kid...of course kids need our attention until certain age...but not necessarily..u have to be with them all the day..we need to have quality time with kids ...

My MIL was a working MOM,my mom was working mom(she was handling lot of things....),myself also working....(when i was a kid,i c my parents working hard for the benefit of the family..)so..if V can make them understand its all for them then defntly..no issues and complaints...

Yoga.. even i too do not accept the discussion

I feel that leaving the kid to our in laws or parents has nothing to do with the emotional bonding that the kid and the parents share...

At one stage, the child will definitely understand that we are working only for their future and well being.

But in short,  ikkaraiku akkari pachai !!!  Some moms who are at home may feel that they can be a supporting working mom...

hey vel i do accept ur views da, but y does these people keep  a debate for such things, its hurts u know.. we r doing our best to keep in tact with them and analum wat abt the people who leave there kids at day care centre..

vinny... ur views are very encouraging..

i will also try and finish all my work before he wakes up from this weekend..and spend the entire day with him..

great going...

no.. only when u put ur kids at the care of creche/ day care , then its goign to be a disadvantage for them.. but when they are at the care of patti thatha its good only na.. they tell nice stories more than us..

hey thats wat actually i am planning to put my kids at day care center from july as my parents r leaving to my brothers place, so no way for me... I am more worried.Hope the day care centre to be good.

dont worry yoga, check for good day care get suggestions from your neighbours and opt for that.

Yoga.. i too have felt strongly about this issue...But ur problem is this -

"under constant guilt"

Why should a working woman feel guilty..? I have never felt so. We are employed..and this is our way of life..! The family, includng the child..will have to accept the fact, that we will rush to office every morning. Ofcourse, the natural instinct of a mother takes over, when the kid is still an infant..and we feel guilty..But that should only be a temporary phase.

I have always wondered.. do economically weaker (the correct word for 'poor'.?) parents always feel guilty, that they are not able to afford to buy expensive toys for their kids..? Dont they have a lifestyle according to their income..same applies to us working moms.

And in your case, you are lucky that ur twins are in the care of your parents..!

And the debates that u mentioned..are just a waste of time..! ignore them totally...

 There were similar debates.. when women started going out to work..! How many of u have watched some song sequences/movies in our tamil films of 70s or maybe 60s..where the heroine, who is employed..would be portrayed as being rude and boorish..

Same was the case when women started to ride bikes, drive cars..now it is common

The percentage of women going to work, in the organised sector, is steadily increasing..and it has also become pretty common now, atleast in big towns and cities.

Are we putting our kids at a disadvantage : Absolutely not...!

Its my personal opinion that kids of working women tend to be more independent, and more aware and onservant of their surroundings..and more secure of themselves..when left alone, than kids of all time stay-at-home moms

A colleague tells me that his son, who is 12yrs old,still bawls and makes a scene, if his mom is not with him, at bedtime..! I think it is ridiculous... Last year, my daughter( then 7)..was sent to Hosur for 10 days, to be with my in-laws, during her holidays. It was the first time..she was away from both me and hubby..for a long period. Ok for 4-5 days, then, she became sort of gloomy and my MIL guessed she was missing us..! Thats about it..!

Provided we make sure of good support system for the kids..we are definitely putting them ahead and at an advantage..as working moms.. Be proud of it..!

Good news nnu oru blog potaen la..athulla indian working women tops in balancing the work and life...appadinu survey announce panni irukkapa..y worry...keep coolll..

You need not worry Yoga... Things will take their own course.... Though I am a typical example of a working wife who quits her job on becoming a mother.... I have no regrets abt it...But I personally feel children with both working parents are bound to grow up more disciplined and understanding in life. They don't take things and people for granted. They get to understand and value their parents love and care. They become mature very easily as compared to children with moms at home. The only ones at a disadvantage are the moms, I feel... who as u said are guilt driven and are really craving to spend some time with their li'l ones.... in spite of the house hold chores and other family responsibilities demanded of them.... But I'm sure that ultimately things do work out and Children will grow up after all 

Amala and Abi, u r right ma, my kid can understand  but now the problem with her is she compares me with their frnds mom(all r house wife) she expects me to come to  her school regularly to pick her up.... but thats practically not possible, dont know how to make her understand such situations

Anu, ur words sounds to be great da..thx for ur support and encouragement.As u said they r very well aware of positives and negatives ,they r independent too, even when i had gone for official trip out of town, they had managed to be alone.I am really proud of my kids.

Ranjani, thx for ur comments dear.Thx for all ur support

Hi yoga .. dunno how i missed this discussion ..

now my views

u made a right decision to go to work .. (after 3.5 years i guess) .. , see wen u work u miss home and at home u miss work .. its either way

but i tell u wht .. money cannot comfort a chilld's cry . th most expensive gift . any child can ve is a mom .. i was brought in creche and i openly say i don ve good rapport wid my mom.. i don express things to her freely .. ve seen vj hugging his mom, crying and fighting .. but i never let loose

and i say ya . in a way too much indepence is a dis advantage.. th child knows parents not around and they also know how to cheat grand pas and mas .. n spoil their future .. ve seen many of my friends .. th future we want to build is often spoiled

children will grow up . so will we .. but th initial stage is so beautiful and child's words and affection is more than any highly paid salary

and ya teachers .. we re not professionals ,,. we can only teach a child only a teacher can educate ..but wht th child needs .. only mom can understand

simple .. its both positives and negatives in both th cases ..

as its said think positive .. so ur decision is a welcome !

Even I too missed the discussion.Putting the kid in a creche is good but again the situations are there.If there is no one in our home,then that decision is good.If we are in joint family, then there is no need to put our kid in creche since he should adapt with our surroundings.As Sangita said, she was put in creche so she was not that much intimate with her mom.Yes,, thats absolutely right.The kid will definitely miss all the goods and bad

Its all depends on our hands. I mean the brought-up.As Vinnybunny told, her kid has learned good mannerism from the day care.Thats good, but we the parents should again teach him.Teachers are only the guidelines.100 percent responsibility comes from our side.

My opinion is that put kid in dy school if there is no one to look after him in the house.Otherwise, we should play the role of a day care teacher.

vinny.. which daycare are u sending ur son to?