Hello Moms..

It is very lovely and heartwarming to read about  your cute ones journey. I loved each ones story and the way it is told...

I cannot say mine is similar story .. Actually I was reluctant to pen this story down, but for just the last moment of my pregnancy which is priceless and my best happiest moment in my life, I am writing this down.

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I found that I was pregnant in a strange way..  it is usually irregular periods for me.. last period was in jan 29 2003 .I did not get my periods or 35 days..i tested with home preg kit  by Mar 1st week, then again by Mar 3rd week and still found the test as negative.. In the meanwhile I had vomiting symptoms.. and went to doc for checkup and she said i might have appendicites and asked me to go for a scan to find out the severity. And during this scan by Mar end got to know that I was indeed pregnant. My husband was with me..so he was the first to know.. Then I called my mom to say this..

Since I had mild appendicites too, doc advised food restrictions which I followed to some extent.. As usual morning sickness was there but not very severe...

Though my husband did not pamper me the way I wished...he was there

But My happiness was shortlived as my husband left me when i began my fourth month.. It was full of emotional turmoil after that... deep into depressions.. i even thought of aborting. full of crazy thoughts. but it was too late... then somehow i pulled myself.. then thought the child is going to be hook for the life i will be living hereafter... I somehow had the feeling that if the child is going to be boy then he would also leave me midway.. and so somehow the idea of having a girl child was there in my mind.. and i was telling my mom.. i want only girl.. and if it is a boy then i would not keep him with me.. nu polambitu irundhen.. and i would get angry at patti whenever she says that i am carrying a boy..

my mom and sis were the ones who took care of me fully during my pregnancy and after delivery.. and i am very thankful to them... my sis would daily make and give me mathulam, sweetlime juice..she was studying college then..  whatever   i wished to eat. they let me..I even asked  for normal valagapu.which they abided and just called few family friends... relatives will not understand so they were not invited except for my chitti and patti- thatha

Though i was in deep emotional depression mess.. i did not show that at work... and i was excelling in work with lots of appreciations from customer, colleagues.. no one knew about my situation at work... that was good in one way.. but i was very much worried how my baby will be because  i have heard that a lady should be calm and happy for a healthy baby.. but i was not nor i was able to..

I was feeling depressed mostly when i found that i am sharing the baby movements with my mom who was feeling little embarrassed whenever i showed it.. or to the scanning centre when doc showed the baby in the monitor..

My due date was 5th nov.. and i went to office till last day of Oct. on diwali night i think it was 29th oct...I felt some sort of pain..and we rushed to the public health centre mamballam hospital (where my sis was also born).. it  was a false pain. and we came back.

 then my patti -thatha came to  be with us to take care of me along with my parents and sis..I wanted to shop for my kid to buy a beautiful dress for my girl.. but it is strictly no- no from my mom. till the baby is born no new things for the baby should be bought nu.. then i adamently went and bought cartoon characters to be stuck in the room for the baby.. and she did not let me stick it.. she said she would stick it once the baby is born and before i enter the home wth the baby... i then left it and did not argue..

On nov 3rd night i attended  bhavani( our Admin) wedding reception and came home.. and in the night i was having some sort of discomfort.. went again to hospital.. this time somehow my patti miscalculated that to be real pain.. but it was again false pain.. but doc advsed to get admitted as the water level was high and she wanted me to get apprpriate rest.. so for next few days was in hospital under care of doc.. and she asked me to go back home and come after 2 -3 days when pain comes.. but when i was about to discharged i saw a lady coming in taxi with baby and covered fully in blood. she delivered on the way to hospital. i saw this and decided i will not go back home . i told doc that i will deliver and then take my baby home..

but some how pain did not come but i was having very much discomfort due to my big baby inside and my dad couldn't tolerate this and told doc to get c-section done for which he got nice scolding from the doc.. then nearly a week passed after my due date and the doc decided to induce pain.. but that too failed..

my mom was alone with me. and my dad to work... sis to college, patti, thatha at home.. that day was my moms turn to be at hospital.. then suddently doc came around 4 pm  on 11 th nov and said today 5:30 we are operating and its well past the waiting time nu.. thats it my mom got tensed.. she did not know what to do.. if its C- section she wanted to have the operation in good time.. but doc did not hear to those.. my mom was given a list of things to buy.. by the time she went and came. i was fullly dressed in operation dress, drips in my hands.. i was feeling so lonely  and depressed  when she had gone out to buy the things.. my mom started crying seeing me.. and she was feeling helpless as no one was near her too.. somehow she made calls to my dad and at home.. and all were on the way.. but i saw only my mom when i went inside the theatre.. I did not know what to think and what to speak..or what to expect..

then they gave me injection in my spine( which is the reason for my backpain still)

and started operating.. though i could not see fully.. i could feel they cut my abdomen and take the baby( at 5:40 pm). i could hear them talk about the amount of fat in my tummy.. i wanted to say.. please take out the fat which can be removed..

Frankly speaking i do not remember my child crying when they took out.. i asked them what baby is it.. and when they told its a boy.. i was asking again and again.. is it not a girl?... they sensed my unhappiness..  and immediately i could feel the  sharp pain in my abdomen.. they said it is over and i could feel them stiching.

Then when i was being taken out of operation theatre.. i saw my boy wrapped in my dad's lungi (  my mom did not get cotton white cloth ).. In the meantime doc has said the news about my boy and also added that i was not happy when they said it is a boy and told them that i am depressed..

he was lying on a tray neatly wrapped  and i was beside him on the movable stretcher.. that was the moment i saw him face to face and it was the most magical moment in my life.. my heart was swelling in pride.. he was such a beautiful baby and all my dissapointment of wanting a girl drained  and tears came rolling down me.. and i asked the nurse to keep the baby near my face and i kissed him before taken out of operation theatre.. outside the theatre i saw all my family members, mom, dad, sis, patti, thatha.. and all were happy and relieved seeing me.. my dad is a tension party and he started crying seeing me... and my baby was the cynosure of all eyes.. the first sound i heard was the loud suckling sound which everybody in that ward heard and came out to see my baby.. he was sucking both the thumbs happily.. on the way to the room.. i was repeatdly asking my mom... ' see how beautiful he is looking and very fair.. is he really my baby.. how could i deliver such a beautiful fair baby when i  am not that good looking nu loose thanama  keten..it was surprising for me to see my baby very beautiful.. my sis was saying with my care only he is born like this.. i only gave u daily juice na .. and so he is fair and beautiful nu solita.. then she had made the bedroom ready with the cartoon characters stcuk on the walls for my  baby to see when i went home after a week..

I realised why for every mother their child is the best and felt my mothers pride swell up whenever i looked at my baby..

With my baby coming into my life.. my depression got lifted up  and i got a reason to live... and the rest of the story is in my sweet nothings of how he got his  doting father...

I really wish / crave i go through this episode of child birth the  ideal way other moms have gone through once again with lots of pampering from my hubby dhina and my rahul who wants to have a sibling..

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moms i am really sorry to have made you read this big story.. but i couldn't help it.. this is infact a shorter version where i have not said many things.. but anyways

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