hey, Shyaja just asked about in-laws looking after kids...

Ippo idhu...

hey, why would ur parents refuse to live with u even for a WEEK...!

There are absolutely no practical difficulties in living with a daughter, my parents lived with me for about a year.. leaving one portion of their house for rent..

When my brother objected without any reason..she simply said...

"unnaiyum pathu maasam thaan sumandhen, avalayum pathu maasam thaan sumandhen... ..Now she needs my help, i WILL go to her place. U cannot stop me.."

In the past 8 yrs of our marriage, my father has been hospitalised atleast 5 times.. Each of the occassion, my hubby has done for my father, all that any son would do for his father..

So its all in our mind. Times have changed now, we need to stop bothering about "Society"

If u are an only daughter, it is definitely ur duty to care for your parents, in their old age, no matter wht ur in laws say. To this effect, the hubby will have to be on ur side.

I have an only daughter, and i hope to be of help to her, as much as possible, until i m old. though i wouldnt want to burden her in any way, i hope she will care for me, when we are unable to care for ourselves...

A daughter is the best blessing you can receive from God..

Hi Anu,

I have got a brother too.. My parents are comfortable staying alone. I stay with my in-laws. When i was carrying my hubby and me were in my parents house for the whole period. Hubby used to visit his parents every weekend only. They were so nice that they dint feel bad abt it.

But my relatives were making fun of me that im n my parents place even after marriage. They were doing a lot of cribbing (like my parents have snatched away the only son from his parents etc), that even my brother asked y i am here for long period? "Ellarum oru madiri pesaranga, ask her to go back".

Hubby dint mind, my parents dint mind too. But after my delivery when i went back to my in-laws place, i asked my parents to come there for helping with my baby since i am working. For that my parents replied, if u want u can leave ur baby here and go but it will not be good if we come there, already everyone speaking something and ur brother will not allow too.

Thats y i had a doubt, y are we still considering the world around us and not our comfortness.

Hi Durga, probably your parents are not comfortable because your in-laws are there. Can parents and in-laws be together for a long time. It may be very tough. But if you want to take care of them, definitely you can request them to stay at your place. If they want to stay alone, leave it to them. Don't pressurize them. That's my suggestion.

Durga, like sons daughters are also equally responsible for their parents. Parents may not acknowledge this, but thats the way it is!

My parents stayed with me for almost a year at a stretch. Like anu said, my husband has been more welcoming and accomodative than me. They are infact more comfy with him.

These are modern times and our parents also realise that. Maybe, your husband should talk to them and make them feel comfortable and welcome to your place.

 Makan or Makal.. yaro orutthar care pannina sari!!!

I see many moms abandoned by both their busy sons and daughters these days.

There are no any written rules that only sons should take care or daughters should take care.  In those days men were earning and women were home makers.  Also daughter's becomes the bride of another home, but sons bring their bride to their home.  So parents opted to be with the sons.. so that they can continue living where they lived so far and also they live in their own son's earning.

as the scenario is different these days, there is no harm if the parents stay with sons or daughters if both are earning.

But in my old age, I would prefer not to depend on both my son or daughters.  Let us plan our retired life now itself and live the days happily independently... visiting the kids and being visited by them whenever we get some free time.. but not totally depending on them.

@Dhaarini,

My parents and hubby go very well with each other. So no probs abt it.



The only problem migth be as Shylu said, i m with my in-laws. So i dont pressurize them as they are more comfortable staying alone. I visit them every weekend, during functions and whenever possible. They are happy with that.



But what makes me angry is that, my FIL always said and continues now too that "We should have a son to support us during older days" since we have a daughter. Thats y i thought, why do people believe its Son's responsibility. I feel we girls do take care much better, also there is more coordination b/w Son-in-law and ur parents rather than b/w the parents and their daughter-in-law.