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Hello Mam

I think that u should better stay with ur children back there coz the stories what we hear daily in our newspapers and news channels about senior citizens being targetted by thieves and others makes us worry a lot. Even though am in chennai my parents are staying alone in my native, even this makes me worry a lot and i keep on pressurising my dad and mom to come and stay along with me.  I think the vaccum what u mentioned would definitely be there becoz ur children and g.children would be busy all through the day and by the end of the day only u will spend time with them.  U can still enjoy ur time by sharing ur valuable comments, ideas, suggestion with us through our community, take a long walk in the evening.... etc.... These are my suggestions but plz dont stay alone in chennai...

luv

Malathi

Dear Vanathi amma - Since you have addressed all of us as your children, I'd like to call you that way.

I would be lying if I say that I'd do this if I were in your shoes as I really dont know what is in store for me personally a couple of decades from now. However, as an Individual, I have never wanted to go out of India simply for the fact that we will miss our relatives and friends back home and Life certainly is different outside India is what I have heard from a lot of people. Luckily, I am settled here as of now.

I am sure it must be really boring for you out there with not much that you can enjoy and no friends to come over. There are both pros and cons in your situation. If you kids are happy to keep you along with them, nothing like being with our children. You might want to join Indian groups back in the US and go for programs which also take place there. Instead of traveling all the way to India, you can travel within US and try and catch up with such programs. If you do not have any relatives back in India, then am not sure if it is a good idea for you to come and live here all alone. Well, I am sure you will have the luxury to attend music seasons and such programs but ultimately, you will start to miss your people and will want to go back. 

Another suggection is to invest on a retirement home where you can live for a few months, relax, take rest, enjoy doing things you have always wanted and then head back to the US. This concept of retirement homes are gaining momentum and a couple of them are being started in Coimbatore and the mountains I suppose. I know a couple who is looking to rent out their apartment and buying a retirement home ---- it is like buying an apartment - Studio type, delux, super delux etc and settling there as their daughter is married and settled in Aussie and they dont want to leave Chennai. Another friend of mine has already invested in a retirement home in Mettupalayam so his parents can go for a holiday whenever they want to as their native is Ooty and it will be of use to him also after a few decades.

Hope this helps,,,,,

Hi Mam,

As Malathi rightly said it is not advicable to stay alone in Chennai. Every page in the paper and news has some or other worst incidents happening in Chennai.

Vaccum is bcos of missing the ppl and the place which u like. you can visit some temples if it s near by , pleasant walk in the evening  and chat with ur frnds/neighbours.

Being with ur own ppl around you will keep you happy and content in life.

yes mam, being alone in chennai is not all advisable. moreover loneliness will eat u up.There will be no one at home with u to share, to help ,u will be left alone among four walls. Ofcourse u can hv maids to help u but that too is dangerous.

How many r longing to stay with their children, grandchildren even if they r in the same country.but u hv been gifted with all these that too in US.Very lucky mom, grandmom u are.

Nowadays u get everything online.try whether u can see or hear such things from computer or CD etc and dont miss this opportunity which many of them won't get.

with love,

penitia.

Hello mam,

          Its better to stay in us itself. My grandma also faced the same problem. Finally she decided to settled in chennai and now she is with us and playing with her grand children.

          First u find out in what ways u r missing chennai, list it out. If u r missing musics and lecturers why dont u buy in the form of cd.( of course it is not up to that and somewhat.....)

Regards

ramya

Hello maam,

Good day to u. Nice to hear that ur children are happy in keeping u at their place. Being a citizen of the older gen., i think its difficult for u to spend time there all alone, daily. But being with ur children and G.Children will give u some comfort and solace. Staying alone in chennai is not advisable. The old age home concept is picking up very nicely in chennai. There is nothing to shy away from them. Infact some of the old age homes have deluxe and luxury rooms to offer. Nowadays most of the old ppl who are in ur situation are in old age homes. The homes provide food and shelter. U have ur group ppl to chit chat. They also have separate rooms with TVs. If u can afford to stay in rooms, then u can take them.

Some homes have monthly rent fixed and some have some kind of deposits to b made with them. Maids r provided and the food is thoughtfully prepared. U can give this option also a thought.

 Hi Amma,

According to me staying in US will keep u healthy in boith physically and mentally. U can spent time with ur family and njoy with ur grand children. Y do u feel alone, when everybody is there for you?

Since u have health issues staying in chennai alone is not advisable. Always keep urself busy.. busy.. busy. Surf the net, watch tv, listen to good music, play with ur G children, take a walk in evening, share ur thoughts with ur son/daughter, chat  with ur family members, if time and health permits go for outing.

Dont think about the past and get worried, present is the PRESENT of GOD. 

Keep urself healthy and b happy...Life is short enjoy each and every minute..

By ur child

Sangy

Myself and my brother were in US for sometime when my parents were here alone in chennai. After few years, I came back to india. Now that I am here to take care of my parents, my brother is living in peace there.

So if you were my mother, I wouldn't like you to be alone in India while I am in US. Since you've said your relatives are also in US, I think it's better to be with your children. You can always visit India whenever you want to.

Getting reliable help in India is difficult how much ever money you pay. You can see all the blogs that moms are posting about the maids they hire to help them with house hold work and kids. I am sure your children also wouldn't want you to be living alone in India.

Hi VanathiAmma,

We understood your feelings but how many  grand children having their grand ma with them.. It is treasure for them to having u..

You will be always there to guide them, teach them, lot and lot..

"What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance.  They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life.  And, most importantly, cookies.  ~Rudolph Giuliani"

So don't go away...

Engage yourself in busy activities and enjoy the life..

-Akils-

Hi vanathiamma, you can try to visit chennai during the December season and stay for a month or so. After that, I'm sure you'll long to go back to be with your kids and grandkids and you can stay with the memories of these concerts. Like everyone has suggested, you can listen to CDs, internet.

If you want, you can also try to learn things like driving. It may sound a bit absurd, but I've heard that the major problem that parents face abroad is they can't travel alone and have to depend on their kids.

thank u for all ur replies& the concern shown on me & i am really gifted .ramya can u give me the add of good old age homes.pl.

http://www.kudumbam.com/

www.udavumkarangal.org

Category:	Social Services/NGOs
Home for affluent senior citizens
Locality:	Perungalathur
Phone Number(s):	(044) 2279 2002, 2279 2003, 2279 2141
Fax Number:	(044) 2279 2009
Email ID:	SSMETODataOnein

These are some of the links of good old age homes that i can think of.

Senior citizen home or retirement home are great options these days. My mother lives at ssm residency perungalathur and i haven't seen her more happier. I went and spend 2 weeks with her personally and its a great place and they do a fantastic service. I live overseas hence its a blessing to see my mother happy with five star facilities.

I understand your feelings as I am also in a foreign land like you and almost in a situation like you except that am a young mother. Please understand your gr.chidren are most important and am sure they would love a gra.mom being with them. You can make use of internet to create a club for people with same interests living there and meet them in a regular interval. We used to have lot of old white women in our apartment who were living alone. I know how badly they long for their children and gr.children. Its their culture and DIL will not be ready to accept them to live along with them. Pls never do that feel ur son's home as heaven. We are not going to be connected in another jenma with our near and dear ones. So I feel as long as we live we should care for each other and make each other happy.You are lucky enough to have such caring children. Music cutchery is just few hours of travel away. Instead of hotel you can stay in such old age homes as a PG during music season (may be u can take few frns frm US ) and return back with immense satisfaction. This is my humble request.

m