Are you new to Chennai Moms?

No insted of cooking do come other work...like cutting vegetables..like tht..dont put everything into ur mind...have good sleep..eve go for a walk or go to temple...

just relax . n cook some side dishes n not main course.

 some in laws are like that only. you just help her around with the cooking, like cutting vegetables. discuss with her what dish can be prepared and tell that I will also help with the cooking. Talk to her about old times, talk to about the baby,make her comfortable with you and everything will be fine soon. Don't worry.

u can avoid cooking jus concenrate on other works like cleaning and washing clothes,sweeping the floor etc.

By default, elderly women in the family wouldnt want to let go of the kitchen as it is their control zone. I had same issues with my mother-in-law as mine was a love marriage and had a great cultural gap, but now everything is resolved. .I used to cut the vegetables, wash the utensils, clothes, sweep and swipe the floor.. My MIL is against servant maids. She feels they dont do work properly....

I always used to stand besides her and observe what she is cooking and used to ask her for tips. I used to help her in fetching her the salt, spices etc., Used to appreciate her cooking though it is really not that great. One thing that i had to really appreciate her is her ability to do her work even when she is not that great in health.. Not that i had got completely how she cooks.. but this increased our emotional bonding.. Now I no longer stay with her because of my kid... but she calls me on every other occassion to help her in cooking... yeah but still in her own way.. and i respect that when i use her kitchen.. Still make her feel that it is her zone and she has complete control on that..

To add more confidence to my MIL, when she is around my husband at times comments.. "Enga amma madhiri panna kathuko"... She will defend me now saying that.. "Ava pannaradhu ava nalla thaan pannura"...

As Sathiya had suggested, you can help her in other chores like cutting vegetables, washing utensils (if you dont have a maid) etc., Slowly you can approach as to how she is cooking. Ask her for the special recipe of hers. Appreciate her cooking. Ask her to teach you.. She will slowly let you.. It is just a matter of time..

Relax in the meanwhile.. enjoy the free time that you have... Dont let these thoughts come into your mind..

 many times i had asked her how she cooks.. but she is not willing to teach me too.. ya now a days i am doing other works only.. but then it hurts me.. fr the past 2 days i was disturbed.. but now feeling better.. 

Hi Sugi,This is a very common problem in many house...Even I was not allowed to do the kitchen work especially the afternoon lunch(i dont know y) by my mother-in-law.After my daughter grown up to 2 years,i got the kitchen work from her...They feel that is their main key...Anyway dont worry for anything,she cant keep cooking life long,,,At some time or the other she wil let u do..Until then keep urself engaged with other works....

 Jus enjoy ur maternity leave...its not worth spoiling it thinking unnecessary things.

why ur worried abt ur MIL

Jus think its ur rest time....

If your husband eats his moms food leave it...u sit and relish food prepared by your MIL thats all idu ellam ellar valzhkailum sagajam appa...forget it relax u look forward for the good thing in your life and have fun with chennai moms...take care dont worry be happy

You have taken your efforts.. then sit back and relax and enjoy the luxury... Now you will have a lot of time to dream about your kid... .. Or do more quilling.... We all would love to see more creations of yours..

if i face such a situatn i uld've told to my husband abt her... kandippa pootu kuduthiruppen.... amma vachu paiyan achu avanga adichukattum.

All have given gud suggestions,I have nothing more to add. Enjoy,take rest. prepare yourself for child raising,do something that interests you.

And hats off to u Aks....u have handled your MIL very well.

 sugi this is ur leave period for very important thing , so stop worrying for something  what u cannot change  overnight ( this settlement takes real long period & patience & main thing is u need to gain her love fully ) . Elders (especially this particular relationship DIL vs MIL ) feel if they allow the next generation into the kitchen (their only regime right) , they will loose importance. So indha problem ellam delivery mudinjappuram face pannalam ok ?.  ippo just diver your mind into sweet likable aspects of life ( kutti sugi paavam illa nee tension aana adhum tension aagum).  relax (read as RELAX ok )

My mil who is no more was like that till her last breath.... Can't help....leave the kitchen to her and cook some side dishes of your and your husband's chice.

Sugi,

Its just 2 days since U were at home, just think from her angle, for such a long time she was ruling the kitchen, so obviously she cannot bear if U take it off, just think this way, U are on maternity leave, after U return to office if some has taken off your belongings in office how would U feel.

So, its natural for your MIL to be like that, one important thing, never take it up to your husband, then U r diverting the problem between U an ur husband or between ur hubby and MIL, as far as possible handle it by yourself, these are trivial things and that should not affect in anyway the happiness between U and ur husband.

But dont keep it in mind, the more U store the more it aggravates, U just cooly tell her that U are also interested in cooking, so ask her to guide U one or 2 days a week atleast though not daily. She will understand U if U talk openly, even if she takes it the other way, leave it. But just try our, open talk always relaxes U.

good luck, and enjoy ur maternity as much as possible.

Hi Sugi, I was very upset after reading this.  Vidu Ma.  We all know how talented you are.  Appreciate panni adjust panna virupam illana it is her mistake.  Most important thing is that your child needs good nutrition.  Food preparation la thane problem.  You take lot of fruits, nuts and health drinks to compensate.  She might be worried about some other matter and unforunately she is expressing it in this way.  Let's hope she changes.  Even otherwise don't worry

Amma thitalaya. Appadi vitudu. Smile da

Sugi,nalla rest eduthukonga pa. Dont worry, after few years you may feel ayyo, yaaranu samaichu poda mattangala, naama rest edukalame like that. So enjoy this period, it will not come again. If you want to eat anything you like, tell her that unga peran or pethi wants to eat this like that. Namma mela vida peran pethhi mela thaan asai adigama irukkum. Concentrate more on your crafts work like dolls for your angel who is going to born or something of your own creative. Dont worry a lot, it will affect your baby.

Sugi nalla rest edu..andha madhiri situation enaku vara matengudhey.....

In my case..mil don't want to cook...but yarachu guest veetuku vandha..I cut vegetables,keep dhall,and everything ready..she will come for mixing....like upu karam naan podren nu..and I leave it to her..

So just ignore...enjoy ur leave...u will lots of time to spend with ur kid then..

even my MIL is like that sugi.If I did something she used to complain something or the other.They feel like marumaga kaiyala sopidaratha?. 

Even my SIL's MIL is like that ma.

They feel like karandi namma kaila irutha than control irrukkum.If  their son starts tasting the food prepared by wife they think that they will go behind their wives.But like others said even I just do idli,dosai,cutting vegetables,cleaning .summa mel velai mattum.M.ain meal my MIL prepares.I just relax taking care of my kids.

If she does not like the food prepared by you just leave it.You prepare what you like at this point of time of your choice and eat.

I am married over 9 years ,till today the main meal is prepared by MIL.Earlier I bothered like u.But after having kids appa vela michamunu escape ayitein.Because after having kid youwill be busy withem only.

Just relax at this point time.

Hi Sugi,

Stop worrying Follow Aks.. she has handled the situation wisely

sugi,

just relax.. even my mil does n't allow me to cook when she is there telling that pulippu athigam, karam kammi even if everything is correct . she likes only if she cooks... have nice rest . its ur leave time... enjoy with ur unborn... 

sugi... nalla Relax Pannunga.. u wont get this chance again enjoy you leave read some good books that u like and have fun with your hubby.  Even if she says something for not doing any work (this Happens in my situation) just dont listen ..  be cool. Ur health is important.

 After readng all the answers i feel better.. will follow the tips given.. 

sugi enjoy life dear... dont feel 4r these simple things....keep ur mind free just enjoy this lovely moments.... good luck

Hi

Most of the inlaws are like that only yar. Just relax. U do wht u like and eat, let ur mother in law do wht she likes. Dont worry a day will come when she will ask u to do the cooking. U take care of ur health.

Lov

Nimmi

Hi

Like all of them said.My mil also behaves like that.Even i feel and get upset by her behaviour. U just relax and Enjoy this phase.

Sudha

 Hi Sugi,

Maternity  Leave till ur deliver ur baby --- its very precious moments, u will never get time for Urself after this .. Enjoy with ur mom if possible .

Kitchen kulla vidalena santhosham irrunga, dont worry at all.

U have an excellent work in ur hand, do the quilling happily...

Relax, Relax and Just  Relaxx...